am i really that fat????

ok...so...i was sitting at work a couple of fridays ago...friday is jeans day. i looked down and realized there were two big holes in my jeans...one on each side....where yep you gueesed it....my fat thighs had been rubbing together!!!!!!!! what the hell???? am i really so big now that i have to worry about rubbing holes in my pants when i walk?!?!?!? i could have died from embarressment...i quickly went out to my truck and got my bigass long coat and had to wear it the rest of the day!!! you know how these days everyone is about their aha moment as oprah would say.....well surely that has to be mine.

so, i went to walgreens and got some Full Bars...supposedly they were developed by a bariatric surgeon. you eat one 30 minutes before your meal with a glass of water and they are suppose to fill you up so you wont eat as much. here's the thing...they are like 160 calories...so you better be eating at least that many calories less or you are gonna gain weight. but, so far they do seem to help me eat less....we will see....too soon to really tell if they are gonna work...but i have my fingers crossed!!!!

blah....

today is blah.....just sitting here on a leopard print couch with jewelry and knockoff purses all around me....with nothing to do......now that is my kind of job!!!!

i got to see the tail end of the biggest loser last night. while i was watching them weigh in i was like ...wow!!!! those are some big folks!!! then i looked in the mirror and realized i am one of them!!! what the hell?!?!?!??!?!?! i need to get a grip on reality!!!!!

i got the power 90 workouts but havent started them...kind of scared because they are gonna be hard core for me....but i guess that is the point?!?! i made a rocking tomato based soup the other day in my Healthmaster....which i love!!!! all it had in it was 4 tomatoes, half a green squash, half an onion, about 10 baby carrots, about half of a green bell pepper and some spices.....it was delish...i ate it with a couple of corn tortillas. i finally finished it yesterday....now i need to try something else....hmmmm....what to do what to do???

i watched twilight last night for the gazillionth time...but it never gets old....i love edward and bella...they are my friends...i think about them often and wonder how they are doing....i wonder if they ever think of me....yes i have lost touch with reality!!!

i wish someone would come in the store and buy something...the more that sells the more i make....why isnt anyone here?????? maybe it is too soon after christmas for people to be spending their money....damn economy!!!!!

well, since i am just rambling i will sign off now....peace in the middle east!!!!!!